Dearest Paypal

I thought I’d share this nice little email I wrote to my besties at Paypal. Enjoy…


Dearest Paypal,

Allow me to preface my email by saying to you, dearest Paypal employee, that the malevolent nature of my email is not directed at you personally but is rather a reflection of my rising irritation with Paypal the COMPANY. I’m sure you (personally) are a regular ol’ peach and enjoy sunshine, babies, cats and other cute shit just as much as the next guy, so this definitely isn’t personal. In fact I hope YOU personally have a great day!

That being said, my cage has been subjected to some rattling.

The details:
I transferred $400 from my Canadian bank account on Jan 16th with Jan. 28th stated as the expected clearing date. While I acknowledge the 6-8 business day “processing” time – whatever that means – the funds were withdrawn from my bank account on Jan. 18th so I just wanted to know where MY money will be sitting for the next 10 days…?

Seeing as it’s MY money to begin with, I find it utterly unacceptable that, in 2013, I would have to wait such a long period of time before having ANY access to those funds at all.

It’s quite a bit of inconvenience just to have the “convenience” of using Paypal, wouldn’t you agree?

And let’s just keep in mind for a second that it’s an ELECTRONIC TRANSFER!!! We’re not shipping circus monkeys across international borders here!!! (Fedex could do that in 24-48 hours by the way).

It’s not like you guys physically send somebody to my bank to physically pick up the money and physically bring it back to Paypal HQ; at which point you would physically drop it in a little cubby with my name on it and then grant me access. Right? Right???

With all of that being said, please let me know where my money is and also provide me with an exhausting and comprehensive explanation of your “processing” practices. Feel free to get as technical as required as well. I worked in a bank so I’ll be able to handle it.



P.S: Did you know there’s a website called paypalsucks.com? It has over 65,000 Facebook “Likes”.

P.P.S: I don’t believe everything I read but this article doesn’t seem so “out there” given our circumstances here, does it? http://www.zeropaid.com/news/103099/paypal-holds-users-funds-to-earn-off-their-interest/

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